Why Comparing Yourself To Others Doesn't Work

Have you ever gauged your level of success by the success of someone else? Or your level of efficiency or effectiveness or productivity?

I like to take thing slowly. Feel it out. I’m what is called in NLP, a “kinesthetic” learner. I take my time. At times my actions have been so languid, a friend of mine nicknamed me Snailey. Snailey Bailey. Not a particularly attractive comparison, but I admit not entirely inaccurate either.

In the past I would have looked at those around me sprinting ahead, bolts of lightning leaving an enviable trail like the glorious scarves of Isadora Duncan, and felt bad. Or wrong. Or just plain slow.

What I’ve learned from my teacher and coach Alexi Sebasttien is that each of us is structured in a particular way, and when we honor this innate composition, success or “living your life purpose” is a natural and automatic result.

I began studying business and personal development with Alexi back in March. I learned that  developing yourself as an entrepreneur begins with first developing yourself. Trust me, after years of “self development” I felt so developed that I was like an over-ripe fruit ready to plummet from the tree and become food for the squirrels. However Alexi used tools and techniques that allowed me to see myself, my life and my patterns in a way that I hadn’t seen before. It was personal development in relation to what I wanted to do in the world. She connected the dots in a whole new way.

I discovered that how I operate in this world in regards to business (the tortoise, not the hare) was not actually a shortcoming but a characteristic to be honored and developed. I came to realize that all my prior success in business had come from honoring this quality, and allowing myself to take it slow, feel it out, explore the territory and take my time. You see, we all have an innate manner in which we approach live, publicly and privately. When we know what that is, and honor it, our “life purpose” naturally emerges.

Alexi enables us to discover what we innately are- those things that we may not be able to clearly define or articulate or distinguish. Alexi has a way of making those things explicitly clear.

Which means some of us are tortoises and reach the finish line, and some of us are hares and reach the finish line. So if you’re the tortoise you might feel like the destination will never come. And if you’re the hare you might feel like you’re missing something. Regardless of how we feel, we are on the road to our destination! What would happen if the hare tried to be the tortoise or vice versa? It would be incongruent to their constitution.  This is why comparing yourself to another is misleading and ineffective.

When we honor who we are innately, we create our success authentically. The thing that we see in ourselves that we consider our biggest limitation, may become the hallmark to our success. Right now J. Lo’s butt comes to mind.

I am grateful to my teacher and coach, Alexi Sebasttien.

I am also grateful to, and in honor of, the snail in me.

[Via http://whyimgrateful.wordpress.com]